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Related Articles:
Ghost Rider Home on Leave/Hellcycle Photo "Sometimes shit happens, somebody has to deal with it, and who you gonna call?" -- Parapsychologist Dr. Peter Venkman, sworn testimony in New York City Court, 1989 |
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BLADE THE VAMPIRE HUNTER
Mixed-race SHAFT Agent Eric Brooks, born half African-American, half vampire, recently discussed his usage of FUBU-S on "The Ocho," ESPN 8. Better known to fans as Blade the Vampire Hunter, Eric fights a war on two fronts, battling both the armies of the undead and his own vampiric nature on a daily basis. He admits that it is increasingly difficult for him to resist the vampire half of his heritage, so he takes the Undercover Brother Serum on a regular basis to boost his blackness and avoid succumbing to his bloodsucking tendencies. When announcer Cotton McKnight pointed out that FUBU-S is quickly becoming the "new steroids" for white athletes who take it to enhance their performance, Blade replied, "What do you expect? White men can't jump." |
| Above: Whistler injects Blade with his regular dose of the Undercover Brother Serum. | |
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PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: GHOST RIDER a candid conversation with bad-boy
biker Johnny Blaze & the demon Zarathos |
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To say that Ghost Rider looks out of place in the Afghan desert
is a bit of an understatement. Clad in black leather and spikes from his jacket
to his boots, he certainly isn't dressed for the climate, but the skeletal
demon with the flaming skull insists that it is quite mild out here if you
compare it to Hell.
Thundering through the dark of night on a mystical motorcycle of pure hellfire, Ghost Rider has made quite a career for himself avenging the souls of the just that have been tarnished by the touch of evil. Formerly a member of the Champions of Los Angeles superteam, he has been working "solo" for years now... Ghost Rider is now as much of a loner as two people can be. He is, you understand, two beings in one: Johnny Blaze, the drifter and former stunt motorcyclist, and Zarathos, the hellspawned "Spirit of Vengeance" that possesses him. While the Playboy Interview is usually limited to one "person" at a time, we decided that an exception was warranted in this case. Zarathos & Johnny have been an on-again, off-again duo for years, and our sources tell us that all has not been smooth and peaceful in their relationship. But even the rockiest of times have not stopped this supernatural team from righting wrongs and avenging the spilled blood of innocents. Business is never slow. |
| Don Self caught up to Ghost Rider in Kandahar, Afghanistan, during the first week of July... just days after US jets and helicopters bombed a wedding in nearby Kakarak, injuring and killing dozens of civilians. The Spirit of Vengeance is in the middle of his "Cycle of Violence" World Tour that kicked off on September 11, 2001, but he agreed to take an afternoon off in order to give us his unique perspective on the world events unfolding around us. | |
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PLAYBOY: To begin with, you do realize your skull is on fire, am I right? GHOST RIDER: Yeah. It's a look. PLAYBOY: Okay, cool. So... thanks for taking time out from your schedule for the interview. I'm honored. This is the first one you've granted, correct? GHOST RIDER: The first one that's likely to see print. PLAYBOY: Ah, yes, the infamous God & Country interview that was never published... GHOST RIDER: I prefer to let my actions speak for me. My publicist, though, thinks that this will be good for my image, good publicity for the tour. PLAYBOY: That God & Country magazine incident is still a mystery, though. We managed to get our hands on a transcript of the tape, and we're still puzzled by the abrupt ending of the interview. Mind if we examine it? |
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GHOST RIDER: Not at all.
PLAYBOY: Any comment? GHOST RIDER: The official report listed "heart attack" as the interviewer's cause of death. PLAYBOY: True, but that doesn’t explain the death of their editorial staff, the blinding of their staff photographer, the destruction of the building with "tire marks and chain indentions everywhere, even in the concrete slab," or the unholy fire that burns on the site to this day… GHOST RIDER: El Niņo? PLAYBOY: Wow, you said that with a really wicked grin. GHOST RIDER: It's the skull. I always look this way. You shouldn't read anything into it. PLAYBOY: So, you’re sticking with the story that you took a smoke break, came back, and found it that way? GHOST RIDER: Yep. They were assholes. They deserved what they got. I wish I had thought of it myself. PLAYBOY: All right, well, let's move on. Tell us about your tour. This is a new thing for you, isn't it? Globetrotting? All your news coverage before last year placed you on the highways and byways of America. Afghanistan really isn't your "territory," is it? |
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| GHOST RIDER: Look, I'm not just some run-of-the-mill Vengeance Demon. I'm the Spirit of Vengeance. The premier avenging angel of death on this world. I visit my wrath upon atrocities befitting my status. I leave the petty domestic revenge cases to demons like that Anyanka chick in California. |  |
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PLAYBOY:
So why Afghanistan? Are you on assignment from SHIELD? Doing your patriotic
duty?
GHOST RIDER: Do you see an American flag on this jacket? Am I wearing red, white, and blue? I am the High Lord of Hell on Earth, not Uncle Sam. Innocent blood was spilled in New York, Washington, and Pennsylvania and blood runs red, no matter what nation you live in. This has nothing to do with patriotism and everything to do with vengeance. It is my business to be in Afghanistan. I go wherever innocent blood is spilled. PLAYBOY: Like for example the Uruzgan province of Kakarak, where US forces bombed a house where a wedding was taking place, killing women and children? |
| GHOST RIDER: Exactly. Your government won't even admit wrongdoing in that case, instead finding every possible way they can to justify their actions. And the American people don't say anything about it, because they don't value the lives of Afghani citizens anywhere near as highly as their own. | |||
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PLAYBOY: We hear that your tour might take you to Iraq in the near future. GHOST RIDER: Yes, that appears to be the next stage of your president's agenda. There is already great suffering there, thanks to the damage done during the Gulf War and the ongoing sanctions that prevent Iraqi citizens from getting clean water or adequate medical attention, but I prefer more showy arenas. Missiles flying, bombs dropping, soldiers invading, the good shit. Collateral damage... now that's entertainment. |
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PLAYBOY: I suppose we should expect that attitude from a demon from hell. GHOST RIDER: Hey, what can I say, I get a contact high from American bloodlust, all those people clamoring for war, for revenge, for "justice." What a rush. PLAYBOY: Americans were understandably upset after September 11... GHOST RIDER: Fuck... You people are the most self-centered... No clue what goes on in the rest of the world... I... PLAYBOY: Whoa, do flames normally shoot out of your eyes like that? GHOST RIDER: Only when I’m pissed…and now you've gone and pissed me off. Your government routinely bombs other countries, killing thousands of civilians -- you wiped out more people in Sudan than died on 9/11, and I bet you don't even remember when it happened, much less what it was about -- but when someone finally hits you back hard, you expect sympathy from the whole goddamn planet. You humans want to annihilate one another in an unending cycle of violence and retribution, far be it from me to stop you. I could give a flaming fuck. But spare me your bullshit! You know after 9/11, you people are so full of it, and of yourselves, you were all parroting the same ridiculous question for months. "Why do they hate us? Why do they hate us?" I'll tell you why. "Because you have to ask." People are suffering and dying all over the world every day and you can't be bothered to even notice. |
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PLAYBOY: Uh, Mr. Ghost Rider, sir... GHOST RIDER: And let me tell you another thing! I resent the implications in your question about SHIELD, like I'd ever work for those pricks! As a matter of fact, as soon as I get back to New York, I'm signing up with SHAFT! PLAYBOY: But SHAFT is full of protestors and peace activists, always talking about nonviolent conflict resolution... Surely they don't condone your acts of vengeance... GHOST RIDER: That's true, none of my actions are endorsed by SHAFT, nor by any other human agency. They don't need to be! I am a force of nature. I am karma. I am fate. I am destiny. I am the law of cause and effect. I am the natural outcome of people's choices. IF THE HUMAN RACE WANTS TO STOP ME, THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO STOP THEMSELVES! PLAYBOY: Thankyouverymuchsir, I hate to cut this short, but I'm just going to run along now and evacuate the building... Everyone run for your lives!!! |
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DOCTOR STRANGE Old Photo May Be Key to Solving Mystery Current Sorcerer Supreme Stephen Strange got a lucky break in his search to discover the fate of his missing father, Dr. Stephen Strange, when a search through some old financial records showed that he once owned a timeshare on a cabin in the mountains of Morristown, Tennessee. Unsuccessful in their efforts to locate the timeshare partner, an archaeologist named Professor Knowby, Stephen and Dr. Strange's faithful servant Wong decided to journey to Tennessee and investigate the cabin for themselves. What they found may be the last place Dr. Strange visited before disappearing without a trace two decades ago. From all indications, he was enjoying a vacation the last time he visited the cabin. The clothes he packed were suitable for hiking in the woods, and the few other items he left behind show that he was trying to relax and unwind: Dr. Strange brought with him some light reading (the Necronomicon, or Book of the Dead); a handheld puzzle box, similar to the Rubik's Cubes that were all the rage back then; and judging by the empty containers, the good doctor's diet was less than ideal, as he seemed to be eating nothing but dessert.
While none of these items seemed out of the ordinary, Stephen did manage to find something he considers to be an important clue. |
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In
the Necronomicon there was an old Polaroid photo of Dr. Strange,
apparently being used as a bookmark. At the bottom of the photo, the white
border was covered with arcane glyphs, obviously drawn with enchanted ink
(since none of them were smeared).
Stephen and Wong hope that by translating the glyphs, they will finally be able to determine what happened to Earth's previous Sorcerer Supreme all those years ago. In the meantime, the artifacts of Dr. Strange's final days have been secured in the Sanctum Sanctorum in case it becomes necessary to examine them for forensics evidence. Stephen's mother Clea, who never told her son that his father had been a master of the mystic arts because she did not want him traveling that path, was visibly disturbed by these revelations. "He never told me about the cabin," she said in a recent interview on 60 Minutes II. "I have to wonder if he was using it to have an affair. Is that what happened to him? Did he run off with some slut like Scarlet Witch? Is that why he disappeared as soon as we found out I was pregnant?" Clea then broke into tears. In her defense, the Scarlet Witch claims to have never heard of Dr. Strange, and points out that she was maybe three years old at the time of his disappearance. She is also threatening legal action if Clea does not cease referring to her in the tabloids as the Harlot Witch. |
