Angered by the insolence of the American forces, Rumsfeld replied, "As you know, you have to go to war with the Army you have, not the Army you want."

The 18-piece armored shell is bone-white and fits over a black temperature-control body glove. Built-in helmet comlinks supplemented by belt-mounted hand-held units ensure that soldiers are always in touch with their commanding officers. Standardized utility belts contain ammunition and helpful tools such as grappling hooks and cable.

"It's the ideal gear for soldiers who have been deployed in the Middle East as part of the Iraqi occupation force," insists an unnamed Pentagon  spokesperson.

However, internal memos that were leaked from within the Department of Defense suggest that the armor may have been developed for a completely different purpose.

The documents describe the properties of the space age plastic, its immunity to the forces of magnetism in particular, which would make the armor ideal for future operations in specific theaters of war.

This has caused many to speculate that the armor was specifically designed for the invasion of Genosha rather than the policing of Iraq. Genosha, the mutant republic off the southern coast of Africa ruled by Lord Magnus -- a.k.a. Magneto, the Master of Magnetism -- came to the attention of the world last month when the Bush Administration declared it to be part of the Axis of Infamy, alongside Syria and Wakanda.

Insiders claim that Bush is motivated by revenge.

The previous attack launched by the Bush Administration against Magneto utilizing giant Sentinel robots proved disastrous due to the large metal content of the robots' chassis. The Pentagon presumably hopes that an invasion force decked out in plastic armor will be more successful.

New York, April 10 -- It started out as one really bad day in November. Out of the blue, the members of SHAFT's Avengers Resistance Cell suddenly and inexplicably found themselves facing off against some of their deadliest adversaries. President Evil: Apocalypse and the Ultimate Masters of Evil -- Donald Rumsfeld, Condoleezza Rice, Paul Wolfowitz, and George Tenet -- had returned and attacked without warning, completely obliterating Avengers Mansion.

By the time the smoke cleared, two Avengers had perished. Prior to the attack, She-Hulk had borrowed the Scarlet Witch's cybernetic sex doll (the VISION ^TM model) and accidentally ripped it in half when she climaxed. Hawkeye, sifting through the rubble of the mansion for his copy of The Darwin Awards, tripped over a spare quiver of arrows and hit his head, cracking his skull open.

Devastated, the surviving Avengers disbanded and fled to Canada. But as the months passed, the situation only worsened. The Ultimate Masters of Evil gained more and more power, and yet another Avenger, the Mighty Thor, fell in battle.

Finally, on April 1st, Doctor Strange appeared to the Avengers and explained the mystifying events of the past few months. The Scarlet Witch, overwhelmed by her incestuous relationship with her brother Quicksilver and her emotional dependence on an android, had lost control of her hex powers and begun unconsciously warping reality.

Doctor Strange's first clue that Scarlet Witch's probability-altering chaos magic was wreaking havoc with the universe came in late October when the Red Sox won the World Series. In November, events quickly took a darker turn as Strange witnessed the SHAFT Agency's victories against the Bush Administration quickly undone.

Although it had been unequivocally proven to the American public that the Ultimate Masters of Evil had lied about Saddam Hussein possessing Weapons of Mass Destruction in order to justify their invasion of oil-rich Iraq, these supervillains were not being held accountable for their war crimes. To the contrary, they were being systematically rewarded for the debacle in Iraq:

A) Rumsfeld kept his job as Secretary of Defense; B) Rice was promoted to Secretary of State; C) Wolfowitz was chosen as President of the World Bank; and D) Tenet was awarded the Medal of Freedom, of all things. Combined with the fact that Bush was able to return to power as President of the United States, it was clear that these events were of supernatural origin, and the Sorcerer Supreme decided that the Avengers had to be warned.

Realizing that the Scarlet Witch's mental state was the source their problems, the Avengers made her an appointment with Dr. Leonard Samson, psychiatrist to the superheroes. Doc Samson prescribed the anti-psychotic drug Clozapine and recommended that she get some rest, so the Scarlet Witch decided to spend a week at her dad's beach house in Genosha before returning to the States with the rest of her teammates.

Upon arriving in New York, Captain America discovered that Thor and Hawkeye had already come back to life, and held a meeting (see photos at right) to discuss getting the Avengers Cell back in action, with Spider-Man added to the line-up.

New York, April 12 -- After a four-and-a-half-year tour of the Middle East with no end in sight, the Spirit of Vengeance has returned home for some much-needed rest and recreation.

He is currently on vacation, spending quality time with friends and family in New York before his inevitable return to the Middle East. Anticipating that his area of operations will soon have to expand to include Syria and Iran, he expects that this is the last break he'll get this decade.

Ghost Rider last discussed his Cycle of Violence Tour in a 2002 Playboy Magazine interview.