Forget bulletproof vests. Forget handguns and assault rifles. Forget bulky jetpacks, if you ever even considered them an option.

What you want is your own personal powered armor from Stark International. Find out what IronTech technology can do for you.

Each set of IronTech Armor is custom-fit to the client and customized to fit his or her needs.

Whether you're an executive on the go, a paparazzi-hounded celebrity, a political dissident, a rugged individualist or an extreme sports competitor (see below)... Stark International has the armor that's right for you!

Billionaire industrialist Tony Stark stands in the lobby of Stark International, where his original suits of gray and gold armor are kept on display.

IronTech Personal Powered Armor Suits

Standard Features

Armored Shell: The iron-plated exterior will protect you from physical attacks, temperature extremes, energy weapons, and acid. Motorized exoskeleton boosts the strength of the wearer by a factor of 10. They don't call Iron Man "invincible" for nothing.

Full Spectrum Weapons System: Sonic, laser, and particle beam attack modes; mounted in gauntlets and on chest plate.

Multiple Power Sources: IronTech Armor is solar-powered with standard backup batteries and AC adaptors for emergency recharges.

Smooth Handling: Cybernetic interface and onboard battle computer. Before long your suit of armor will be responding like a second skin.

Life Support: Sealing the eye and mouth slits on the helmet allows wearer to create a self-contained environment with enough oxygen for three hours. Armor can also be specially fitted with any medical equipment the wearer might require, such as a pacemaker.

Boot Jets: What a rush! Experience the power of flight! A high-speed gyro-stabilized turbine is mounted in each boot, with room left over for retractable rollerblades!

Force Field: Keep your armor shiny and new by repelling attacks before they ever touch you! This protective energy field will keep you safe from harm while protecting the armor from unsightly dents and scratches.

Voice Modulator: Distort the sound of your voice with a variety of morphing filters. Perfect for practical jokes, protecting your privacy or secret identity, impersonating your boss, or phoning in terrorist or ransom demands.

Hologram Projector: Simultaneously creates a dozen identical 3D images of the armor. Confuse your enemies, go line dancing at your favorite country western bar, or single-handedly provide Britney Spears with an entire troupe of synchronized backup dancers.

Fire Extinguisher: Safety first!

Electronic Counter Measures: The ECM equipment generates an electromagnetic field that makes you invisible to radar and sonar detection, guaranteeing you'll never get a speeding ticket, get busted for illegally crossing international borders, or get shot down by anti-aircraft fire.

Sensor Array: They can't see you, but you can definitely see them! Audiovisual transceiver, radar, sonar, and infrared sensors all come standard.

James Rhodes models the original red and gold armor while keeping the Stark International escalators clear of industrial spies.

On the Stark International Observation Deck, Mr. Stark prepares a repulsor ray demonstration for a tour group.

Friday, October 18, NEW YORK - Shaquille O’Neal shocked the sports world today when he traded in his basketball for a sledgehammer. 

In a move that some are comparing to Michael Jordan’s leaving the NBA to play baseball, Shaq is pursuing his dream of being a high-tech gladiator and pulverizing his opponents in televised arena battles. 

The Fox Network's new "Ultimate Armor Wars" program began taping this week in New York. Sponsored by Stark International, it features armored competitors who gather from around the globe to match their technology and fighting skills against one another in single combat.

Shaq was so stoked when he first heard about the new sport that he immediately set about forging his own suit of armor. The final design enhances his strength, protects him from most forms of attack, and enables him to fly. 

His weaponry includes a rivet blaster and a formidable, tricked-out sledgehammer. When Shaq gears up for the Armor Wars, he literally transforms himself into the proverbial can of whoopass.

The Shaq Attaq Ghetto Armor

Hardware is sponsored by Metcalf's employer, Alva Industries, which is likely to enter him in the Armor Wars for a much needed PR-boost.

If such a bout takes place, Fox will undoubtedly save it for a Sweeps Week broadcast.

AVENGER MAIMED

"Ultimate Armor Wars" is only in its first week of production, and already there has been a near-fatality. 

The trouble began when Dane Whitman, the Avenger better known as the Black Knight, insisted on entering the competition despite the fact that he did not qualify for membership in the Armor League.

"We tried to tell him that the show is only open to competitors with powered armor, but he just wouldn't listen," explained a Fox executive that was in the arena when the Black Knight arrived. "He shows up in this outfit from the Middle Ages and challenges Titanium Man to a duel. How stupid is that?"

The network has stated that, in the interest of good taste,  the video of the fight will not be aired. However, an audiotape was released to the police officers investigating the incident.

Representing the Legion of Terror is Dr. Victor Von Doom, the dictator of Latveria. Dr. Doom is the dark horse of the Armor League due to allegations that he is utilizing IronTech technology that was stolen from Stark International by Latverian spies.

TITANIUM MAN: Come, Crimson Dynamo.

BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.

TITANIUM MAN: What?

BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.

TITANIUM MAN: I have no quarrel with you, sir, but I must exit this arena.

BLACK KNIGHT: Then you shall die.

TITANIUM MAN: I command you, as an ambassador of Mother Russia, to stand aside!

BLACK KNIGHT: I move for no man.

[Zzzzap! Titanium Man severs the Black Knight's left arm with a laser beam]

Artist's impression of the Black Knight while he was still in one piece.